What can I do about my abuse?

When I was in the 3rd grade I was molested by a 5th grade girl my mom used to babysit. When I was in the 5th grade I was touched inappropriately in my sleep by a female cousin who was only 2 years older than me. When I was in the 6th grade I was ually hared by a male student and when I told, none of the teachers believed me because they believed "he was a nice christian boy who would never do such a thing" and when I was 15 I was ually abused by an older male cousin. I've never told anyone of these incidents because I feel disgusting and dirty. I haven't told my mother because when she was a little girl she was ually abused and molested so I feel if I tell her of my misfortune she would blame herself and feel she didn't protect me enough. I don't want to break apart my family or have all these strangers and people at school knowing my business so I keep it to myself. The thing is, the one time I open up to a male teacher I trusted about my abuse, he also took advantage of my low self esteem. If you just met me you could never guess I have all this going on because I'm not the type to sulk in public, I'm a very outgoing, quirky person. I can no longer trust anyone because they either don't take me seriously and brush me away or abuse me in some way. I know all this stuff that's happened to me has changed who I am dramatically. I am not the same girl I used to be, I am very stand-off-ish, I hate touch, I hate when men stare at me and I don't like getting in relationships. I don't trust a soul. But I feel like what has happened to me is rarely "abuse" because I know people who've been d or have been abused way worse than I have so I think I haven't been abused. Not as badly anyway, I just feel like a complainer. But is what has happened to me been abuse? What can I do to overcome this? I can't deal with my pain and emotions in a healthy way. I mutilate myself and act promiscuous. And for some odd reason I pursue older men, which I don't understand because older men are the ones who abuse me. Is this a psychological thing that just happens? I'm a smart girl, I just have low confidence, even though it doesn't show. Please...please help me. Thank you.